Why are the evangelicals so much better at evangelism than the rest of us? I have some thoughts.

The two most influential books on religion in the twentieth century were Varieties of Religious Experience by William James, published in 1902, and Stages of Faith by James Fowler, which came out in 1982. Fowler identified six stages of faith we can experience during our time on earth. Fowler’s book can be helpful on this subject. Well, so can James’s book, but I have a secret word count I always remain below in my blogs.

Stage one is magical faith. When my kids were little and my 18 month-old daughter locked herself in the bathroom, my 4-year-old son said with all seriousness, “Get the Incredible Hulk.” That’s stage one. Stage two is a law and order faith, with the boundaries, guardrails, and guides necessary for children and young adolescents. Next comes conventional faith, which is exactly what the name implies. Many people remain in stage three throughout their lives. Conventional religion is easier. Other people make the decisions about what is right and wrong and who the enemies and good guys are. If you keep their rules, you remain in good standing.

Many people eventually find stage three confining and move to stage four, the stage of disenchantment. When I was in college I realized that my denomination, which said we were the only ones certain of going to heaven, was one of about two-hundred denominations that taught the same thing. Something was wrong with that picture.

Stage four usually occurs during our time of psychological  differentiation or individuation, when we start going out on our own in the world. But eventually life catches up with us. We have children, a loved one dies, we lose our job, and the spiritual vacuum of stage four no longer suffices, so we move into stage five, the stage of re-enchantment. Most of us return to the religion in which we were raised, but we return with a broader and deeper faith, less focused on rules and regulations and more focused on loving God, neighbor, and self.

Sixth is universalizing faith, in which we realize the commonalities of all major world religions, and the dangers of the fundamentalist forms of those religions.

For a variety of reasons we won’t go into in this post, a lot of Americans are stuck in stage four, and in today’s polarized world they are looking for spiritual meaning. I mean, if you haven’t noticed, this place is a mess and we have a spoiled child as president. We need somethin’.

For some of those folks, the evangelicals in stage three have crafted a message that feels very inviting. For young men who grew up on video games, evangelicals couch their language in battlefield terms saying, “Come join us in spiritual warfare against the evil forces of the dark state.” That appeals to those looking for direction, a cause to fight for, and a way to increase their standing in the “army” they have joined, just like they do in their video games.

Seventy-two percent of people who attend a church for the first time are there because a friend invited them. The truth is that evangelicals invite a lot more friends to church than the rest of us. It’s pretty simple, and quite true. If you don’t invite folks to your church, they won’t attend.

Those of us in stage five almost stumble over ourselves when we talk with friends about our church. “You can come to my church, I mean, if you’re looking for a church, which you’re probably not. Our church is a mess, like they all are, but it has a lot of good stuff too, though it might not be for you. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure why I attend.” Not exactly a compelling invitation.

The problem is not the people in stage three churches. The problem is their religious leaders who take a Turning Point attitude toward spirituality, making their focus not the love of God, but the “Satanic empire” that must be defeated. The problem is that their Satanic empire includes me! If you’re reading this blog, it probably includes you too.

People need spirituality, a spirituality expressed in embodied community, focused on that which is sacred. We need to do good deeds in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. We need spiritual community to learn to be human together. But the majority of Americans are not going to church.

Between 1999 and 2021 our nation went from 70 percent of Americans being affiliated with a local religious body to just 47 percent, a 23 percentage point drop in 22 years. The drop has stabilized since then, but still, fewer than half of Americans count themselves as members of a local religious community. But we are beginning to recognize our need for community. Adults are realizing that not only are their kids damaged by spending too much time staring at screens; adults are too. The third place, after work and home, should not be a screen, it should be a community.

Here’s a challenge. Invite your friends to church. If you don’t go to church, gather a few friends and commit to finding a church together.  We need what stage five and six faith provide – a community focused not on deciding who goes to heaven and hell, but focused on loving the God who loves us just as we are, loving our neighbors, particularly those who do not look like us, and loving ourselves. As a therapist, I do know that if you cannot do the last one, you cannot do the other two. But that’s a different post for a different day.

And so it goes.