Heads in the Sand

Heads in the Sand

This past week brought another round of accusations and resignations of people with high standing in the evangelical world, as #ChurchToo follows on the heels of #MeToo.  It also brought another round of evangelical backlash, including standing ovations for a megachurch pastor accused of inappropriate sexual behavior.  Ten years ago I would have been shocked.  Today I understand how far people will go to reaffirm what they want to believe.

In one of this past week’s high profile stories, a church, in its own investigation of sexual harassment allegations, used a service that specializes in representing management.  That decision caused some of the victims to feel the investigation process might not be unbiased.  Their concern was justified.

In the Hebrew concept, cHesed, when a person enters into a contract they are not doing so to look out for their own self-interest. They are looking out for the best interest of the other person.  That is definitely not how American contracts work.

When I was let go by my main employer for being transgender, they chose to engage the services of an attorney who specialized in Christian employment issues.  Looking out only for the ministry involved, the attorney informed me I would not receive virtually any of the funds that had been promised, including my own personal funds that remained with the ministry. Things were finally resolved when attorneys were by-passed and people who trust one another worked things out.  Nothing about the experience was all right.

That experience is coming back in waves as I watch powerful ministries use their positional power to functionally intimidate accusers.  I know the accusers to be people of great integrity and I despise seeing churches and Christian ministries defensively protect their own interests at the expense of those who are reporting sexual harassment.

I previously made allowances for those who saw my coming out as a moral failure, though the Bible says not one single word about being transgender.  I would say in their defense, “They were confused and frightened.”  I’m done with that.  Those from the evangelical world who continue to accuse me are not naive and innocent. They are willfully ignorant about LGBTQ realities.  And now, as I watch those same people turn their gaze away from sexual harassment and assault, I find my generosity depleted.

The evangelical world lives in a white male bubble, overseen by men who are unaware of how pervasive sexual assault is within their environment.  They tend to think the only kind of sexual assault is rape, without realizing how many other behaviors are also sexual assault.  In case you didn’t know, asking a woman to come to your hotel room and attempting to kiss her is sexual assault.

I know the inside of the megachurch world.  For the most part, it is filled with people who want to get it right.  When they see inappropriate behavior, they act on it. The problem is that when the majority of leaders are white males, they often don’t recognize inappropriate behavior when they see it.  Not many churches have seminars on sexual harassment.  Leaders do not even know what it is. They just assume they do not have a problem.  They don’t know what they don’t know.

I have an idea. Instead of having firms loyal to an employer investigate claims of sexual harassment, let non-church-employed therapists adjudicate matters.  Most have clients who have been taken advantage of by church leaders. There is no wool over their eyes.  They know where there is smoke, you can be pretty sure you are going to find fire.

When victims choose not to speak to “objective investigators” it is because they rightly understand those investigators are not objective.  It takes incredible bravery to speak out about unpopular truth.  You get no stars for bringing down a religious leader.  Instead you are likely to be vilified.  People do not like to see their heroes brought down.

Evangelicals feel under siege, but it is a siege of their own making.  No one is out to get them.  The problem is that they have no idea how out of touch they are about gender discrimination, sexual assault, domestic violence and a plethora of other ills. Keeping their heads in the sand will no longer be tolerated.

The enemies they have created are nothing more or less than people who believe in the ability of the truth to set all of us free.  They should not be feared. My prayers are with those who have so bravely spoken out.  Let’s protect them and assure a truly fair-minded process as their claims are vetted.


5 thoughts on “Heads in the Sand

  1. The desire to maintain control, to not question that which will shake your foundation and therefore your power, has nothing to do with God. And allowing fear to alleviate your moral obligation is nothing but lack of faith. Powerful ministries love their positional power, not justice, not God. I have inexpressible admiration for those victims who speak the truth.


    • I read with sadness this post. Not because it is not true but because it is so very true!! And my sadness deepened when I read the last paragraph of your post. Not because there is anything wrong with the paragraph, but because I fear what you wish for in the paragraph will NOT come true! I fear that those who speak out will NOT be protected and they will NOT be assured a truly fair-minded process as their claims are vetted. I am not by nature usually a pessimist but I am one regarding the situation of which you write!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For the attempt to withhold the Kingdom from someone who so obviously loves God, Jesus had a rather strong word…vixens. They just don’t get it. We are to love and grapple with any hard stuff, but the goal is we all approach the gates together. I don’t see many churchfolk doing that, and those who do are often marginalized by clergy and other churchfolk.

    Maybe there is a special crown for staying faithful under such painful circumstances.


  3. Not “Head in the sand” but willfully blind. It is the human thing to do. Don’t believe me. Try this. Take a week and one issue from the mainstream press that you have a definite opinion about and identify news organizations from across the spectrum that will report on this issue. I recommend at least four, six would be better. Take time every day to read articles about your defined issue from all the identified press organizations. At the end of the week your opinion will probably not have changed but hopefully you will have noticed how much more difficult it was for you to read any opinion that did not support your own. Your own bias’ will make it harder to read articles you disagree with. When confronted by scandal, when faced with exposed injustices, people and organizations have the same reaction. They avoid the problem, circle the wagons, start blowing smoke and throwing dirt. It takes a strong wind to clear the smoke, or a lot of voices to shift the status quo. To Jim Ewing I say that the world is a better place than it was and is getting better. Only a few years ago the unfairness you identify would not even be recognized and those suffering would suffer alone. I live in hope.

    Liked by 1 person

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