I was in a situation recently in which people chastised a group of us for making a decision we had not, in fact, made. Some were soft-spoken and thoughtful. Others were angry and accusatory. Most had already reached a conclusion not supported by all of the facts. Decisions were made on partial information, taken out of context.

When partial information is taken out of context, you can assume almost anything. If I told you I was freezing as I write this, you might accurately assume I am not actually freezing, I’m just cold. That would be correct. You might also assume it must be a very cold day. That is not correct. It’s a relatively warm late winter day, but when I got dressed this morning I somehow thought it was much warmer than it is, and I’ve not yet gone to get a sweater. I am cold, but not cold enough to go get the sweater. As I write this, it occurs to me that I am, in fact, cold enough to get that sweater. Hang on a minute.

Okay, now I’m back and much warmer. The sweater is crew neck, blue and white horizontal stripes. I got it at PacSun when I was in Soho with my granddaughters last winter. Now where was I? Oh yeah.

In my counseling practice, I often recommend the little book, The Four Agreements. One of the agreements is, Do Not Make Assumptions. The human mind is inclined to make assumptions, particularly in a left-brain oriented world. For eons, our species received information in the right brain, sent it to the left brain for analysis, and then returned it to the right brain to place the information in context. That works quite well. Unfortunately, since the modern age arrived about 500 years ago, we have been fixated with the left brain. From Descartes to John Locke to the present day, the left hemisphere of the brain has been valued over the more wholistic right brain.

The problem is that purely left brain thinking leads to premature conclusions not placed in context. The right hemisphere is able to hold competing ideas without jumping to premature conclusions. The left is not.

All of this gets worse when there is no arbiter of truth trusted by the majority of people. As an analogy in a recent article in The Atlantic states, once we no longer trust metallurgists or jewelers or any other group of experts that can tell us if that ring on our finger is truly made of gold, we begin to question whether or not real gold even exists. Is everything fake gold? Is the social media influencer who writes about gold the person I want to trust on the matter, even if he is a college dropout who has never read a book on metallurgy?

You see the problem. I do not know where the folks in the meeting got their information, but I have a hunch it was not by contacting those who actually had the information necessary to draw a fact-based conclusion. As one who was in a position to have that information, I find it interesting that no one bothered to come to me before drawing their conclusions.

It is easy to point fingers, but I have been guilty of the same behavior. I recently had a delightful conversation with a person with whom I disagree about many things. It was interesting how subtly my perspective changed when I moved from viewing him as a right wing “other” to a person with whom I have a lot in common.

Maybe it’s a good time to remind myself of the Four Agreements. First, use impeccable words. Second, do not take it personally. Third, do not make assumptions. Fourth, do your best.

I always say the truth will set you free, but it will make you miserable first. Maybe I should add another sentence to that. The truth will set you free, but you have to do the work to discern it first. The truth matters, and it always will.

And so it goes.